From Mid to: EP
I might regret sending this (or not), but I feel I need to, even if it's
the last message I'll ever send, even if it's the last time I'll ever
have the opportunity to talk to you.
So, I need to formally introduce myself. I'm Mid, and I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for a while. There are days when I can feel normal, feel ok, but most of the times I doubt myself of anything and I don't know exactly what to do to get myself better.
In the last few months I've been experiencing something that made me feel very uncomfortable. Waking up with anxiety with no reasonable explanation. Although I have been going through some stuff - lack of motivation, feeling I have no friends to talk to and seeing most of them leaving after telling them what was wrong with me - I've been losing myself a lot, feeling that I don't have any value, otherwise people wouldn't leave.
I'm not telling you all of this to drag you into my world, into my mess, nor for you to share any story of your own. I'm telling you this because I want you to know how much you've made a difference in a short while and why losing it would make me feel even worse, even though it's not your fault.
You're probably asking what have you done to have that positive impact on me. I've been looking up to you for a while, not only for your amazing dancing skills - there is no one, and I mean no one, that dances like you do, and that's pretty unique. You're unique - but also for the way you encourage people to be better, to be happy, and also for doing your best to interact with everyone, but I know how tough that is, how much time it can take and you don't have that time. So you can imagine how surprised I was when you shared a few things with me - of all people - and you felt better thanks to me. Knowing that I helped someone I looked up to feeling better with personal stuff made me feel accomplished, because you had no reason to talk to me and still, you did.
I'm sending this because I wish I could share thoughts with you more often. I'm not saying that I want to have depressing talks all the time. I'm telling you all of this to help you understand how much of a positive impact you had in me and how I don't want to lose it. I know you don't have all the time in the world, and when you do, you'd rather focus on moments you can have with friends, real friends, real people, instead of sharing things with someone you never met. I understand that, which is why I said this is probably one of the last opportunities I'll have to share this with you. Because I can't push you to have these talks any longer, it's not right for you, and it's insane for me. I just wanted to tell you - broken record, I know - that on the days I was feeling really bad, you had the perfect timing to help me feel ok without doing anything at all. For that, I wanted to say thank you. I only wish that I could have the opportunity to say "thank you" once more or share more laughs in the future. But I respect if you're not ok with that, and I won't push you to it.
This is my open letter.
Mid
So, I need to formally introduce myself. I'm Mid, and I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for a while. There are days when I can feel normal, feel ok, but most of the times I doubt myself of anything and I don't know exactly what to do to get myself better.
In the last few months I've been experiencing something that made me feel very uncomfortable. Waking up with anxiety with no reasonable explanation. Although I have been going through some stuff - lack of motivation, feeling I have no friends to talk to and seeing most of them leaving after telling them what was wrong with me - I've been losing myself a lot, feeling that I don't have any value, otherwise people wouldn't leave.
I'm not telling you all of this to drag you into my world, into my mess, nor for you to share any story of your own. I'm telling you this because I want you to know how much you've made a difference in a short while and why losing it would make me feel even worse, even though it's not your fault.
You're probably asking what have you done to have that positive impact on me. I've been looking up to you for a while, not only for your amazing dancing skills - there is no one, and I mean no one, that dances like you do, and that's pretty unique. You're unique - but also for the way you encourage people to be better, to be happy, and also for doing your best to interact with everyone, but I know how tough that is, how much time it can take and you don't have that time. So you can imagine how surprised I was when you shared a few things with me - of all people - and you felt better thanks to me. Knowing that I helped someone I looked up to feeling better with personal stuff made me feel accomplished, because you had no reason to talk to me and still, you did.
I'm sending this because I wish I could share thoughts with you more often. I'm not saying that I want to have depressing talks all the time. I'm telling you all of this to help you understand how much of a positive impact you had in me and how I don't want to lose it. I know you don't have all the time in the world, and when you do, you'd rather focus on moments you can have with friends, real friends, real people, instead of sharing things with someone you never met. I understand that, which is why I said this is probably one of the last opportunities I'll have to share this with you. Because I can't push you to have these talks any longer, it's not right for you, and it's insane for me. I just wanted to tell you - broken record, I know - that on the days I was feeling really bad, you had the perfect timing to help me feel ok without doing anything at all. For that, I wanted to say thank you. I only wish that I could have the opportunity to say "thank you" once more or share more laughs in the future. But I respect if you're not ok with that, and I won't push you to it.
This is my open letter.
Mid
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